Silent Night, Holy Riff

The Top 5 Heavy Metal Christmas Songs to Add to Your Playlist (and 5 You Should Absolutely Avoid)**

It starts, as these things always do, with good intentions.

A December afternoon. The Christmas tree dragged out of storage. Tinsel shedding like a dying glam band. Aggie, sleeves rolled up, already halfway into the ritual. She turns to me and says the words every household hears this time of year:

“Can you put some Christmas music on?”

Now, any sensible person would reach for the usual suspects. Bing. Mariah. Maybe a bit of Wham if you’re feeling reckless. But I am not wired for sensible. I am wired for distortion, minor keys, and the belief that Christmas — like metal — works best when it leans into darkness.

So I flick through the shelves. And the only thing remotely festive I can find?

King Diamond’s “No Presents for Christmas” on 12”.

I put it on.

I remain, as I write this, very much in the dog house.

Still, it got me thinking. Somewhere between the tree lights flickering and Aggie’s increasingly unimpressed silence, there is a heavy metal Christmas playlist that works. One that keeps the spirit intact without turning your lounge room into a Norwegian black metal crime scene.

So here it is.

F

ive heavy metal Christmas songs that belong on your playlist — and five that should be left out in the cold.

**THE NICE LIST:

5 Heavy Metal Christmas Songs That Actually Work**

1. King Diamond – No Presents for Christmas

Let’s get this out of the way.

Yes, this is the song that got me in trouble. Yes, it opens with manic laughter and sounds like Santa’s been locked in a cellar. And yes — it’s still an absolute Christmas metal classic.

Released in 1985, this is King Diamond doing what he does best: taking something wholesome and twisting it just enough to make you uncomfortable. It’s fast, sharp, and genuinely festive in a warped, European winter kind of way.

This is not a song you play for the neighbours. It is a song you play once the wine’s open and the lights are low.

Aggie did not agree.History, however, is on my side.

2. Dio – God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

If King Diamond is Christmas gone wrong, Dio is Christmas done right.

This track is heavy without being hostile, reverent without being corny. Ronnie James Dio approaches the traditional carol like a medieval bard who’s seen things — war, fire, betrayal — and still believes in something higher.

There’s majesty here. Real gravitas. It sounds like Christmas by torchlight, not fairy lights.

Even non-metal people tend to pause when this comes on.That’s the mark of a classic.

3. Black Sabbath – Changes

Yes, it’s not a Christmas song. No, I don’t care.

Christmas is about reflection, memory, and the quiet ache of time passing — and few songs capture that better than “Changes.” Around the tree, after a long year, this one hits harder than any sleigh bell ever could.

Ozzy’s voice is fragile. Human. Exposed. Which is exactly what Christmas does to people when they stop pretending.

This is the song you put on when the room goes quiet — and no one rushes to turn it off.

4. Twisted Sister – Heavy Metal Christmas

This is where fun enters the chat.

Twisted Sister understood something crucial: if you’re going to do a metal Christmas song, don’t half-arse it. Go big. Go stupid. Go festive with leather trousers.

“Heavy Metal Christmas” is loud, dumb, joyful nonsense — and that’s why it works. It’s a party song, plain and simple. Perfect for decorating the tree, wrapping presents, or reminding everyone that Christmas doesn’t have to sound like a shopping centre.

Aggie tolerated this one. That counts as a win.

5. AC/DC – Mistress for Christmas

Look — Christmas is not a religious experience for everyone.

Sometimes it’s about desire, excess, and bad decisions wrapped in tinsel. AC/DC lean into that unapologetically. No snowmen. No sentimentality. Just Angus, sleaze, and a wink that says you knew what this was going to be.

Is it tasteful? Absolutely not. Is it honest? Completely.

And honesty, at Christmas, is rarer than peace on Earth.

**THE NAUGHTY LIST:

5 Heavy Metal Christmas Songs Best Avoided**

(Playfully sarcastic. Consider yourselves warned.)

1. Lemmy – Run Run Rudolph

I love Lemmy.We all love Lemmy.

But not every legend needs to be let into the Christmas living room. This one feels less like a festive rocker and more like Lemmy turning up because no one had the heart to tell him no.

It’s fine. It’s loud. It exists.

That’s about it.

2. Iron Maiden – (Any Forced “Festive” Compilation Appearance)

Maiden don’t really do Christmas — and that’s fine. But any attempt to wedge them into a festive playlist feels like trying to hang tinsel on a Spitfire.

Epic? Yes. Christmassy? No.

Save Maiden for Boxing Day when the food coma sets in and you need something powerful to wake the dead.

3. Rob Halford – Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

This is where novelty crosses into danger.

Halford’s voice is still a force of nature, but some songs are novelty songs for a reason — and should remain safely in that category. Once the laughter fades, you’re left wondering what exactly just happened.

Aggie gave me a look when this came up in conversation.

I learned. Briefly.

4. Any Black Metal “Christmas” Track Played Before 9pm

Time and place.

There is a moment for frostbitten blast beats and corpse paint carols. That moment is not when someone’s grandmother is holding a glass of prosecco.

Read the room. Or at least respect the tree.

5. Overplaying Slade – Merry Xmas Everybody (Even Metal Versions)

We’ve all heard it. We all know it.

At some point, even the most hardened rocker needs to admit enough is enough. This song has done its time. Let it rest.

There are other battles to fight.

THE TRUCE

Eventually, a compromise was reached.

The tree went up. The playlist softened. King Diamond was politely escorted back to the shelf. Peace, of a sort, returned to the household.

And that’s the real lesson here.

Metal and Christmas can coexist — if you choose wisely, read the room, and accept that some riffs are better saved for later in the night.

So build your playlist carefully. Spin something dangerous — but not too dangerous.

And if you’re looking for vinyl that actually belongs under the tree, you know where to find us.

👉 Spin something dangerous this Christmas — visit crimsonvinyl.com